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A "shut-in" or "homebound" person is one who for reasons of age, and/or physical or mental disabilities, has been forced to remain in their home for an extended period of time.
Most of us are aware of a shut-in person in our neighborhood, church, civic organization, workplace or in our own families. Very often we have a desire to care for them, but are unsure in our role as caregivers.
Where do we begin? How do we reach out to these individuals without violating their lives? How can we best assist them with respect and dignity?
Knowing some of the characteristics of a shut-in will aid you in administering proper care.
In many respects shut-ins are isolated from society on physical, emotional and spiritual levels. They have been restricted in some form in their ability to function as part of society.
Therefore, the first connection with a shut-in should be one of friendship and support. It is best to always call before visiting. Respect your homebound friend by asking permission to visit, so as not to invade their space. Most often a shut-in may feel their home is their haven, an environment they can control. They may feel this is one of the few things that they still have some kind of control over in their lives.
Consistency would be a caregiver's prime objective. Isolation and loneliness are the enemy and many times a shut-in has become all too familiar with the feelings of disappointment. Always set a specific date and time when planning your visit. Setting an appointment, which you are certain you can keep is essential. Frequency of visits is also very important. Whether you are able to visit weekly, monthly or another time frame, try to maintain a pattern. Realize that your homebound friend will be looking forward to your visit. You may in fact be the only person from the outside world that they come in contact with that week.
There is one very important gift you can bring to your homebound friend upon arrival, that of a listening ear. The art of listening will be your connection to what this individual really needs most in his or her life. Intent listening will give you insight into their state of mind so you can further assist them.
Allowing a shut-in to open up and express their feelings to an active listener will undoubtedly release thoughts of fear, anger, needs and desires. Never diminish these feelings by telling them they shouldn't feel a certain way. How they are feeling is simply how they are feeling for whatever reason. Remember that you are not there to enable them or cure their problems. You are there to care for them by listening, understanding and being their connection to the world beyond their homebound lives.
However, once you allow them to express themselves and affirm the feelings of a shut-in, you can offer words of encouragement, mention positive alternatives and carefully offer advice on community programs or assistance. In this way you may be able to dissipate some fears.
Listen to what your shut-in says they are missing. Your friend may indicate they miss working in their garden. This comment might prompt you to bring some flowers from your own garden on your next visit. Or perhaps they mention missing attending their local church. You then might stop by the church and pick up a bulletin or newsletter to take along to them next time. If you attend the same church you could prompt other members into sending cards or visiting the individual.
Knowing your community resources can be additionally helpful in assisting a shut-in. Local government, the United Way, the Council of Churches, and other groups in your area may provide "Community Resource Directories" for a nominal cost. Local directories are the best resource for finding resources for the aging, physically or mentally handicapped. Agencies such as "Meals on Wheels", providing cooked meals, counseling services and in-home nursing are among the many organizations you will find listed in your community directory.
Always encourage a shut-in to be independent by offering information in ways of self-help. Otherwise your relationship may evolve into one where your friend becomes dependent upon you or they may feel over-indebted to you. Should a grateful individual offer you a small token gift or something to eat upon visiting, graciously accept. By accepting something small you are acknowledging an equal relationship, welcoming them by welcoming their offering.
A majority of shut-ins also experience feelings of uselessness. Assist your homebound friend in finding purpose in their lives. You can suggest simple projects such as telephoning other shut-ins, sending cards or inviting other friends to their home. Assisting any individual in finding their purpose and potential in life is a gift worth giving. Encouraging someone in the area of discovering and utilizing their unique skills is a most rewarding practice.
Changes in lifestyle are never easy. Whether these adjustments involve a new residence, job, or other factors, shut-ins may find themselves feeling lost and afraid. Helping a shut-in cope with these changes may prove a difficult challenge at times requiring patience and positive encouragement on the caregivers part.
"Care" is the key word in that of the "caregiver." Accepting the fact that you cannot control or fix the circumstances a shut-in may be experiencing is a major factor. In most cases a caring attitude and a listening ear are the best you can do, which is all most people really need.
A final note would be to always exercise confidentiality. The best care you can give to anyone is that of a loving relationship consisting of a respect for individual privacy.
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